A while ago, the ladies of The View did a segment on why they loved our Yelp mobile app. Our PR team thought it would be nice to send them thank you care packages full of schwag. When they asked me to write the personalized notes for each lady’s care package, assuming I was familiar with the show, I lied through my teeth (via gchat) and said, “Why yes, of course I’ve watched and loved every episode of this daytime TV show that runs when I’m at work!” After skimming through some Jezebel recaps and studying the notes PR sent over, this is what I came up with:
Dear Whoopi,
We suspect you want to do some investigative research on the art of vajazzling (don’t deny it!), so help us help you. Type “vajazzle” into Yelp’s search bar – and maybe follow up with a “merkin” search in case you don’t like what you find. Tell us, can Twitter do that? [PR specified that Whoopie Goldberg’s note needed to be about vajazzling and Twitter. I can’t remember why now.]
Dear Elisabeth,
We heard you have celiac’s disease. That blows (hehe), but lucky for you, the best gluten-free eats are only a quick Yelp search away! [The only things I read about Elisabeth Hasselback are that she’s an annoying Republican and that she has a gluten allergy. I thought it best to focus on the latter factoid for this note.]
Dear Barbara,
How many Yelp CompliMints would it take to get you to have an interview with our CEO, Jeremy Stoppelman? [Barbara Walters’s was the most difficult note to write because she’s so intimidating and I figured she’d roll her eyes at whatever her note said, assuming she’d even read it at all. I opted to keep this short so she wouldn’t come to my home and slash my face for wasting her time with nonsense.]
Dear Joy,
You have a lot of opinions about a lot of heated topics, and while we won’t say whether we do or do not endorse your arguments, we will say we love your spunk. With your pugnaciousness, we think you’d thrive on many of the Yelp Talk boards. Have you considered signing up for an account? [Joy Behar is my favorite.]
Dear Sherri,
You once said you weren’t big on voting, but might we suggest you embrace suffrage on Yelp? Join, rate and review businesses – anyone can do it! Unless of course you’re a robot, which you’re not… right? [I actually forgot about Sherri Shepherd, which makes sense because she doesn’t have real opinions about anything like the other ladies. Her note pretty much reflects my opinion of her non-opinions.]
Rebecca Pederson 
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