it's tits
I hosted a creative team margarita mania happy hour at a bar next to our office yesterday and, because I am the personification of professionalism, got pret-ty hammered. When I finally made it home, I was doing some major Courtney Love-status foot stomping and wailing about how I want to get a best friend and name her Margarita(?). When I woke up this morning with a not-so-awesome hangover, Nate had made me breakfast:
I know, guys. I KNOW. Isn’t he da bestest? Try not to be too jealous.
I am PUMPED to be featured today on what is seriously my new favorite website, The Billfold. Bookmark that ish pronto – especially if you neglected to take a single econ class in college like a genius (a.k.a. like me!).
My piece they ran is on raising backyard chickens. Check it!
How are they gonna handle the Kate Winslet boobies situation??? I’ve purposefully abstained from a Google investigation because I want to be surprised, so no one tell me. If I were Kate Winslet, I’d request they get blown up so big they fill the entire theater. 3D = triple D cup. So close you can touch them… but you can’t! xoxo
I never get sick of Yelp Yack. Jessica Wassil illustrates REAL REVIEWS that people actually put on the site! It’s obvious most of these were written as jokes, but there are a few where you can tell the writers honestly think their reviews will launch them into Anthony Bourdain-status food critic stardom. Ironically, those reviews are perfect examples what we in the biz-nass call NPs (Not Pulitzers).
Yelp Yack hasn’t been updated in way too long. Consider this blog post an official plea, Jessica Wassil: DRAW MORE COMICS. YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO DENY THE WORLD OF THESE ILLUSTRATIONS. I know you have a real life and stuff to tend to, but PLEASE!
Found this note to myself scrawled in the margins of an old notebook I used in college for a seminar on monsters in Jewish literature:
to write: News Faux You book review – “This Book is Made of Cat Pee,” short essays by Miranda July
I never wrote that review, perhaps because my subconscious knew that the funniest part of that idea would be finding it a few years later while throwing old papers away.
Pretty much the only search terms that direct people to my blog are fans looking to write Jonah Hill and people on the prowl for naked ladies. Some of my blog’s most popular search terms from this month:
- best tits 2012
- rebecca tits
- stoner boobs
- “spread my legs for”
- vagina dog costume
- “i do lesbians”
- slut machine (I hope this means someone is mistaking me for Tracie Egan Morrissey!)
- asses and puss
- sex in socks
- big tits of waco
- big boob age 15
- huge boob age 14
Given the overwhelming data, next week I’m shifting the focus of my blog. Going forward, every post will have a picture of my boobs in it. Thanks for the feedback, Google Analytics!
(P.S. April Fools re: incoming nude pics. Not April Fools re: those search stats.)
