Archive for August, 2012

August 28, 2012

Ladies, get ready to want to have a million babies…

Unless your name is Alexis Monson.

August 27, 2012

The things we ask ourselves.

Maybe? But Google says it’s a Mia Hamm Weeble Wobble:

Looks like we’re both wrong. Thank god for the internet.

August 23, 2012

Explaining the internet to old people:

While my response to this question isn’t entirely correct, you have to understand that my mom tends to ask questions she doesn’t need to nor care to know the real answer to.

August 23, 2012

How to know if you’re PMSing:

You take a screenshot of an ice cream sandwich food truck menu that’s being featured in an Orange County Weekly Yelp, stare at it all day while getting legitimately, dog-kicking angry that you’re not eating any of the sandwiches at this very moment.

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August 14, 2012

Do you guys serve Cook’s?

Awww, our Chicago Community Manager, Danny, has a new Youtube project highlighting cool businesses. I wanna go to Chicago and squeeze his cheeks, then drink three bottles of champagne by myself and blame someone else for my righteous hangover headache.

August 14, 2012

I never get up from my desk, so I use Photo Booth to floss my teeth.

I use it for other personal hygiene-related purposes (fixing lipstick, checking for boogers, finding a pencil I lost in the knot of my hair, et al.), but this is the grooming act I accidentally photodocumented with my elbow. And if you think this is kind of gross, you should see the number of coffee ring stains on my white desk!

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August 13, 2012

Nicest tits at the 2012 Olympics

August 8, 2012

Published on The Billfold!

My swimming career peaked at age 11, but the good news is I have enough pennies in my piggy bank to manufacture my own Olympic gold medal!

August 3, 2012

“People like to tell me [having self-confidence] is not an easy as turning on a switch, but it kiiinda is.”

My favorite Olympian of the London Games, Holley Mangold.

August 2, 2012

Inner monologue while writing

“God, I’m so boring.”

“Why would anyone read this?”

“This is terrible.”

“Writing is hard.”

“I hate this.”

“I’m going to play Spider Solitaire on my phone.”

“I feel bad that I’m playing Spider Solitaire on my phone instead of writing.”

“Think. Think think think.”

“I hate this.”

“Ooh, I thought of something.”

“Writing is fun!”

“This is pretty good. I’m kind of funny.”

“I’ve hit a wall.”

“I am so boring.”

Repeat ad infinitum.

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