Rebecca Pederson

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY WEEK!

bp — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 06:25:42 +0000

Here is a wish list:

a Son of a Sailor necklace

this gold band from Metier that looks like an engagement ring but I swear wouldn’t legally bind us if you gave it to me

this necklace at Candystore Collective

an all-expenses paid trip to Turkey

a house decorated by Confetti System

a glamour camping (“glamping”) trip

or a tree camping in Germany trip

or get me this mint velour couch and figure out how to squeeze it into my place.

That’s all!

Word Of The Day: Morceau

bp — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 01:45:57 +0000

morceau
mawr-SOH, noun;
1. Piece; morsel.
2. An excerpt or passage of poetry or music.

He cleared his throat. “I’d like to begin this open mic night with a morceau from my book, Villanelles And My High School Livejournal.”

Everyone stood up and left the room.

Word Of The Day: Spruce

bp — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 20:37:23 +0000

spruce
sproos, verb;
1. To make neat or dapper (often followed by up).
2. To make oneself spruce (usually followed by up).
adjective;
1. Trim in dress or appearance; neat; smart; dapper.

He studiously propped his European men’s fashion magazine on his bathroom mirror and got to work. Per his understanding of the makeover tutorial, he: plucked out all his eyebrows, drew ellipsoidal shapes around his eyes with eyeliner, painted whiteout over his front teeth (a bright smile isn’t just for girls!), and put a pumas stone in each shoe.

He looked in the mirror at his new, spruced up self. “If this doesn’t get me the job, I don’t know what will!”

Word Of The Day: Pachyderm

bp — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 01:39:03 +0000

pachyderm
PAK-i-durm, noun;
1. A person who is not sensitive to criticism, ridicule, etc.
2. Any of the thick-skinned, nonruminant ungulates, as the elephant, hippopotamus, and rhinoceros.
3. An elephant.

She shrunk down into her oversized sweatshirt, feeling her chest break out in hives, when she realized he called her a big-trunked pachyderm not because of her pluckiness, her brazen habit to talking over their English teacher; he was, in fact, practicing his SAT words by calling her an elephant with a wide butt.

People hate me on Yelp

bp — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:01:17 +0000

My manager spearheaded a “29 Days of Yelping” challenge where the editorial team tries to write one Yelp review a day for the entire month of February. It’s not going very well for me.

Today I learned:

bp — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 02:30:26 +0000

Beyoncé sells private dance lessons for three million dollars.

There’s something in the air at Yelp HQ…

bp — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:25:26 +0000

I normally hate other people’s children…

bp — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:55:00 +0000

…but I would steal this baby in an instant.

Happy cancerversary to meeee!

bp — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 08:15:28 +0000

Awww, shit. Do you know what time it is, Left Ovary? Of course you do – when you spend your days alone in my pelvic cavity, you have nothing to do but mark the passage of time!

Let’s take a look at how we celebrated this glorious eventide in years past…

Year 1: Planned an egg-themed party (get it?!?!), but then I got strep throat and canceled it.
Year 2: My roommate and I got hit by a drunk driver while crossing the street to meet our friends at a bar for some celebratory drinks. We were airlifted to Stanford Hospital with broken skulls and hemorrhaging brains; we both almost died. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS ACTIVITY AS IT REALLY BRINGS DOWN THE MOOD.
Year 3: Was a little wary of leaving the house after the previous year’s shenanigans. Convinced myself having a near-death experience was some sort of karmic retribution for gloating about surviving cancer when so many people do not. Opted to not celebrate that year.
Year 4: Totally forgot until my mom called me a week later to wish me a “happy belated you’ve-almost-died-twice anniversary!” Hadn’t had a near-death experience that week, which further cemented my theory that not publicly celebrating your remission is good karma.
Year 5: Plan on hiding under my covers while youtubing Beyoncé videos all night.

We’ve come a long way, Lefty baby. Happy five years.

My internet is still down but it’s only the WiFi so I don’t want to kill myself as much as before.

bp — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 05:13:27 +0000

Now I can plug an ethernet cable into my laptop and it works just fine, though I have to balance uncomfortably on my couch to keep from dropping my laptop or falling on top of the scorching hot heater. It’s a hard life, made harder by the fact that I recently discovered Instapaper and am now in the process of saving every one of my favorite articles I’ve ever found online as well as finding new things to read. So basically, 2012 will be the year of back strain and heater burns.

Of course, I’m also as busy as ever picking out things for my fantasy apartment on Pinterest (I guess I’m just really into cataloging right now). I wonder how many blowjobs I’d have to give to get Nate to agree to a pink couch.