A Gchat snapshot in which Alexis and I share our after-work plans.

Stay tuned for her forthcoming home décor craft blog.

TGIF LOL

Nope, not too early! See you in one hour, bottle of editor-only whiskey Vivek hides in his desk.

A title for my future memoir, perhaps.

A couple of my coworkers and I have been working on a presentation (due EOD today) for literally three weeks and this is all we have:

Title by me, subtitle by Vivek Srivastava. Good work, team.

Don’t ask me any questions about anything ever.

I don’t have the answer to anything. Secret’s out. (Was it ever in? Can a secret even be “in”? I don’t know anything about that either.)

Reason To Be Depressed No.1: It’s Raining

I’d groan too, but it’s too cold and my coffee burned my tongue. Let’s all go home.

Ray Kurzweil is speaking at Yelp tomorrow and Team Edits LITERALLY does not know what to expect.

What if?!?!?!?!

Puns are not the highest form of humor.

I just can’t today, guys. I’m sorry.

“As long as you buy it, you don’t have to read it.”

^^^ kinda sorta how I secretly feel sometimes shhhh

Now that the elections are over and we’re allowed to be totally self-centered on social media again, I feel comfortable posting hints as to what’s on my Christmas wish-list. Item number one: Pot Psychology’s How to Be.

THANKS, FRIENDS!

Today in Yelp news, I broke my keyboard.

Published on Thought Catalog!

In honor of my five-year anniversary with Nate, I wrote something on how I’ve managed to stay in a relationship.

Before this piece was published, I had a conversation with editor Ryan O’Connell about it. He correctly predicted people would leave mean comments since it’s written in second-person POV like a traditional how-to article. Because it’s not at all vague, readers wouldn’t be able to twist it around into something 100% relatable and thus worthy of reading.

I told him I was fine with receiving a slew of mean comments. While this piece is meant to be a love letter to my boyfriend, it’s also a joke about how-tos in general.

Thought Catalog is great at tapping into the psyches of their readers and publishing relatable stuff. But at the same time, it’s impossible to write a piece that will apply to everyone reading it. I think it’s really silly when people get bent out of shape about this. Like, I’m sorry you wasted two minutes of your time skimming through a piece of journalism and finding no nugget that spoke only to your specific situation? Maybe you’ll have better luck if you crack open a fortune cookie.

As such, I think it’s funny to publish something that, in its entirety, can be applied to literally only my relationship.

And anyway, it made my boyfriend giggle from beginning to end, so that’s good enough for me.