Posts tagged ‘san francisco living’

March 21, 2013

I HAVEN’T UPDATED MY BLOG SINCE FEBRUARY?!?!?!

This is one of those blog posts that addresses the obvious fact that I haven’t updated my blog in a while, and nothing more. I’d make a promise to the greater internet to do better, but… no, actually. I won’t do that.

Things I’ve been doing besides not updating my blog:

- Being the creative lead on this really huge Yelp project that I’m super proud of, even though it’s not done yet. I am very excited to unleash it in a couple of weeks.
- Turning 26.
- Learning how to ski and being goodish at it.
- Working on a book proposal for my agent, as I have been doing for the past nine months.
- Deciding, on the nine-month mark, that I didn’t like my proposal at all, and then deciding to totally scrap it and start over with a new idea I haven’t thought of yet.
- Visiting mortgage loan officers and real estate agents with Nate because we are buying a house in Oakland this year.

That’s all for now. I’ll be back to post the shit out of that really huge Yelp project I was just talking about. Maybe before then too ā€” who knows! Until then.

May 29, 2012

Too real.

March 27, 2012

When you eat dinner with your boyfriend who works with foodsheds…

…he says things to you like, “I think it’s really funny that we’re eating fiddlehead ferns, a sustainable diet staple, with corn, a monocultural crop.”

In related news, I just took a muscle relaxer and am drinking wine out of a tumbler. And in case you’re wondering, fiddlehead ferns look really cool but taste really gross.

One more thing: my boyfriend is awesome.

January 23, 2012

My internet is still down but it’s only the WiFi so I don’t want to kill myself as much as before.

Now I can plug an ethernet cable into my laptop and it works just fine, though I have to balance uncomfortably on my couch to keep from dropping my laptop or falling on top of the scorching hot heater. It’s a hard life, made harder by the fact that I recently discovered Instapaper and am now in the process of saving every one of my favorite articles I’ve ever found online as well as finding new things to read. So basically, 2012 will be the year of back strain and heater burns.

Of course, I’m also as busy as ever picking out things for my fantasy apartment on Pinterest (I guess I’m just really into cataloging right now). I wonder how many blowjobs I’d have to give to get Nate to agree to a pink couch.

January 17, 2012

My internet went out for 72 hours and I wanted to kill myself.

I just binged on Pinterest and feel a little better, except now I have this almost unbearable desire to call Camp Design Group in for an apartment facelift. My SF abode is a little small for a second bed though, so I will have to settle for taking things to Goodwill for now.

December 10, 2011

Bloated, cross-eyed, and swearing

I got really obsessed with trying to fill in this map of bars I go to in the Mission. Then I got bored being obsessed but I’m sure I’ll get unbored and finish it in like a year from now.

October 5, 2011

Babe alert: Gavin Newsom came to my office!

In extremely exciting Yelp news, I spotted Gavin Newsom touring our office’s obligatory start-up “party floor” yesterday and I almost peed my pants. He was posing next to a KegMate, looking like a boss, and I was holding a bag of popchips with my mouth hanging open. It was so magical I literally thought I was hallucinating. Back at my desk, I pinged our PR team a litany of questions as to what he was doing and if I was allowed to share the same oxygen as him. I got no answers, but they did let me know when he was leaving the building. At that point, a coworker and I ran downstairs and bounced around the lobby until he came out of the elevator. Then we giggled uncontrollably as we watched him walk away. In the words of our security team leader, Doris: “He’s a tall drink of water for a white man.” In my opinion, he looks like Patrick Bateman, which is hot. (Question ā€“ Which is grosser: That I think a psychopathic killer is hot or that I’m digging a Bret Easton Ellis character?)

He even posed for an unfortunately unattractive picture with our CEO:

In addition to being allowed to gaze into the back of the head shaped by God’s own tear drop, I was happy Gavin came to our office because it reminded me to rewatch Mary Van Note’s hilarious web series, Gavin Really Wants Me. Except I hate to break it to you, Mary, but I can tell by the way we didn’t make eye contact that he really wants me.

October 1, 2011

The ways I am an obnoxious dog owner

Found perusing the Bold Italic back stories: Furry Logic, an article on dog owner and non-owner etiquette. Needless to say, I’m more than a little obsessed with my dog, Mary Cherry (note: I accidentally typed “god” instead of “dog” just now, which I think is poetic). Here are the dog owner etiquette rules I feel comfortable breaking.

I dote on her in public. At six pounds and 12-years-old, Mary frequently gets exhausted on long walks. I will pick her up to carry her, which brings her very close to my face, and when she sticks her nose on my cheek, it reminds me of how she is such a sweet little pita pocket stuffed with sunshine! I absolutely have to kiss her fuzzy ears a million times and tell her how special she is or my heart will explode!!! People who don’t have extraordinarily precious dogs don’t understand this, but it is possible to become physically ill if you don’t smoosh your dog’s face into your face constantly.

I let her go crazy at the park. Because she’s so small, I really don’t see the harm in her running over a picnic blanket. She doesn’t bark unless you step on her, she doesn’t intimidate or even really excite other dogs, and she’s missing most her teeth so even if she did bite, it would probably feel like a tickle. Not to mention, literally everyone coos and smiles affectionately at her (see above: pita pocket). She’s basically every San Franciscan’s ideal apartment pet ā€“ she cuddles like a cat, but she loves you like a dog. Also, she’s as low-maintenance as a hamster.

I don’t always pick up her poop, but hear me out: The freeway runs over my block, which creates an outdoor ceiling ideal for hobo camping. Some of them smoke a lot of crack, and crack does weird things to your bowels that I don’t like. I can’t even begin to count the number of times one of them has leveraged themselves with my car to take a huge, grayish crack poo all over the sidewalk in front of my building’s stairs. It really bums me out. So sometimes when I’m in a super bad mood about it, I won’t pick up Mary’s poops on their part of the sidewalk. Take that, disenfranchised homeless community!

BABY GIRL!

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