In extremely exciting Yelp news, I spotted Gavin Newsom touring our office’s obligatory start-up “party floor” yesterday and I almost peed my pants. He was posing next to a KegMate, looking like a boss, and I was holding a bag of popchips with my mouth hanging open. It was so magical I literally thought I was hallucinating. Back at my desk, I pinged our PR team a litany of questions as to what he was doing and if I was allowed to share the same oxygen as him. I got no answers, but they did let me know when he was leaving the building. At that point, a coworker and I ran downstairs and bounced around the lobby until he came out of the elevator. Then we giggled uncontrollably as we watched him walk away. In the words of our security team leader, Doris: “He’s a tall drink of water for a white man.” In my opinion, he looks like Patrick Bateman, which is hot. (Question – Which is grosser: That I think a psychopathic killer is hot or that I’m digging a Bret Easton Ellis character?)
He even posed for an unfortunately unattractive picture with our CEO:
In addition to being allowed to gaze into the back of the head shaped by God’s own tear drop, I was happy Gavin came to our office because it reminded me to rewatch Mary Van Note’s hilarious web series, Gavin Really Wants Me. Except I hate to break it to you, Mary, but I can tell by the way we didn’t make eye contact that he really wants me.