Archive for February, 2012

February 21, 2012


Here is a wish list:

a Son of a Sailor necklace

this gold band from Metier that looks like an engagement ring but I swear wouldn’t legally bind us if you gave it to me

this necklace at Candystore Collective

an all-expenses paid trip to Turkey

a house decorated by Confetti System

a glamour camping (“glamping”) trip

or a tree camping in Germany trip

or get me this mint velour couch and figure out how to squeeze it into my place.

That’s all!

February 21, 2012

Word Of The Day: Morceau

mawr-SOH, noun;
1. Piece; morsel.
2. An excerpt or passage of poetry or music.

He cleared his throat. “I’d like to begin this open mic night with a morceau from my book, Villanelles And My High School Livejournal.”

Everyone stood up and left the room.

February 19, 2012

Word Of The Day: Spruce

sproos, verb;
1. To make neat or dapper (often followed by up).
2. To make oneself spruce (usually followed by up).
1. Trim in dress or appearance; neat; smart; dapper.

He studiously propped his European men’s fashion magazine on his bathroom mirror and got to work. Per his understanding of the makeover tutorial, he: plucked out all his eyebrows, drew ellipsoidal shapes around his eyes with eyeliner, painted whiteout over his front teeth (a bright smile isn’t just for girls!), and put a pumice stone in each shoe.

He looked in the mirror at his new, spruced up self. “If this doesn’t get me the job, I don’t know what will!”

February 19, 2012

Word Of The Day: Pachyderm

PAK-i-durm, noun;
1. A person who is not sensitive to criticism, ridicule, etc.
2. Any of the thick-skinned, nonruminant ungulates, as the elephant, hippopotamus, and rhinoceros.
3. An elephant.

She shrunk down into her oversized sweatshirt, feeling her chest break out in hives, when she realized he called her a big-trunked pachyderm not because of her pluckiness, her brazen habit to talking over their English teacher; he was, in fact, practicing his SAT words by calling her an elephant with a wide butt.

February 10, 2012

People hate me on Yelp

My manager spearheaded a “29 Days of Yelping” challenge where the editorial team tries to write one Yelp review a day for the entire month of February. It’s not going very well for me.

February 7, 2012

Today I learned:

Beyoncé sells private dance lessons for three million dollars.

February 2, 2012

There’s something in the air at Yelp HQ…

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February 1, 2012

I normally hate other people’s children…

…but I would steal this baby in an instant.