Word Of The Day: Carp

kahrp, verb;
1. To find fault or complain querulously or unreasonably.
1. A peevish complaint.

Food diary, entry #39
Derek, the love of my life, has started calling me GF at work. I know it’s in reference to my gluten allergy, but I’m pretending like it’s something more. It was my birthday last week and stupid bitchface Michelle ordered pizza for the office with wheat crust, knowing full well this would give me explosive diarrhea in the co-ed bathroom. I think she’s trying to sabotage me and Derek, but I guess I shouldn’t carp about this particular instance, since everyone knows you can’t eat in front of a guy until you’re six months into your relationship. Point: me. Nice try, bitchface!


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