Word Of The Day: Conniption

kuh-NIP-shuhn, noun;
1. A fit of hysterical excitement or anger.

Food diary, entry #71
Today I ate: peeled grapes I pretended were bitchface Michelle’s eyeballs, nothing else. My stomach has been acting up all day. I’m afraid I ate something weird, though I think I’m just having ice cold diarrhea every time I think about the conniption fit I threw at work when I saw Derek and Michelle exchange a private look over the fax machine. The new office manager girl felt sorry for me and bought me a cookie at lunch that I couldn’t eat. I’ve run out of grapes, so I think I’m going to go rub my butt on Michelle’s keyboard while she’s in a meeting and then call it a day.


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