I just wanna get high with Kristen Stewart and go to Zara.

I have pretty much no opinion about Kristen Stewart cheating on Robert Pattinson, except for the fact that I think it’s kind of cool/hilarious that she has the balls to cheat on one of the most desirable men in Hollywood while simultaneously shattering this Twilight image of sex, love, and purity held by misinformed tweens everywhere.

I just want to see more Kristen Stewart photo essays like this Us Weekly one dedicated on her birthday(!!!!) to her grumpiest faces (a.k.a. what she looks like always). I think all celeb spotlights should be like this, because I don’t care whose cum she’s guzzling this week, and I don’t think the media should indulge those readers who do.

Suggested Us Weekly followup photo essay: Kristen Stewart’s best lazy eyes. Suggested photo caption: “Having a wander-ful time on the red carpet.”

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