Posts tagged ‘junk lady’

November 27, 2011

Hark! The holidaze are here.

Oh, hello there. I didn’t hardly see you over the satchel pooch otherwise known as my midsection. You can tell by the suspicious looks my dog is giving my stomach’s gurgling soundtrack that I had a very American Thanksgiving: I gorged for days and also participated in some family traditions that include day drinking and Scrabble with Gramma, and holding the annual Black Friday screaming match with my mom in the middle of the Vacaville Outlet Mall.

Over the long weekend, TakePart made my cancer piece from The Hairpin their health section’s headline. I’m super flattered, though I feel like I should acknowledge I’m not exactly a paragon of good health. This picture is pretty much representative of what I’m carrying around in my insides right now:

That face also accurately conveys how I feel every time I heave myself into my jeans. I’m not bumming too hard though, because I think the extra amount of stress-pacing I do while I compile to-buy lists for all my giftees will be enough to abort this food baby. Question: is my giftee list so huge because that’s what happens when you get older, or am I just super popular? (Regardless of the real answer, I’m gonna tell myself it’s because of the latter.)