Archive for June, 2012

June 27, 2012

Leave it to a Yelp editor to decorate her wedding with puns.

Congratulations, Alexis Monson. You look fucking flawless.

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June 26, 2012

Published on The Billfold!

Some places I’ve lived: not all listed here, but I didn’t want to keep you all day.

EDIT: Nate’s mom pointed out that this piece neglected to mention that prior to moving to the Mission, we lived in her basement in the Richmond for a month. During that month, I inadvertently lost a few pounds – I felt bad about eating the food in their cupboards but didn’t want to buy any of my own because they keep kosher and I was afraid of accidentally contaminating everything. When we moved to the Mission, I gained the weight back by gorging at all the neighborhood taquerias.

June 25, 2012

Pixar’s 22 rules of storytelling

According to Emma Coats, via io9

#1: You admire a character for trying more than for their successes.

#2: You gotta keep in mind what’s interesting to you as an audience, not what’s fun to do as a writer. They can be v. different.

#3: Trying for theme is important, but you won’t see what the story is actually about til you’re at the end of it. Now rewrite.

#4: Once upon a time there was ___. Every day, ___. One day ___. Because of that, ___. Because of that, ___. Until finally ___.

#5: Simplify. Focus. Combine characters. Hop over detours. You’ll feel like you’re losing valuable stuff but it sets you free.

#6: What is your character good at, comfortable with? Throw the polar opposite at them. Challenge them. How do they deal?

#7: Come up with your ending before you figure out your middle. Seriously. Endings are hard, get yours working up front.

#8: Finish your story, let go even if it’s not perfect. In an ideal world you have both, but move on. Do better next time.

#9: When you’re stuck, make a list of what WOULDN’T happen next. Lots of times the material to get you unstuck will show up.

#10: Pull apart the stories you like. What you like in them is a part of you; you’ve got to recognize it before you can use it.

#11: Putting it on paper lets you start fixing it. If it stays in your head, a perfect idea, you’ll never share it with anyone.

#12: Discount the 1st thing that comes to mind. And the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th – get the obvious out of the way. Surprise yourself.

#13: Give your characters opinions. Passive/malleable might seem likable to you as you write, but it’s poison to the audience.

#14: Why must you tell THIS story? What’s the belief burning within you that your story feeds off of? That’s the heart of it.

#15: If you were your character, in this situation, how would you feel? Honesty lends credibility to unbelievable situations.

#16: What are the stakes? Give us reason to root for the character. What happens if they don’t succeed? Stack the odds against.

#17: No work is ever wasted. If it’s not working, let go and move on – it’ll come back around to be useful later.

#18: You have to know yourself: the difference between doing your best & fussing. Story is testing, not refining.

#19: Coincidences to get characters into trouble are great; coincidences to get them out of it are cheating.

#20: Exercise: take the building blocks of a movie you dislike. How d’you rearrange them into what you DO like?

#21: You gotta identify with your situation/characters, can’t just write ‘cool’. What would make YOU act that way?

#22: What’s the essence of your story? Most economical telling of it? If you know that, you can build out from there.

June 22, 2012

Today I had my first acupuncture appointment and when my doctor stuck the first needle in my neck I jumped and my breast fell out of my shirt.

What did you do today?

June 18, 2012

“i’m a slut but i lie to my bf 2012”

Whoever used that search time to find my blog should email me. I think I want to be friends with you.

June 15, 2012

Just in case you thought I had it together…

My boyfriend, who prepares at least one of my meals every single day unsolicited, is in Israel for work. Before he left, he took me to the grocery store. I haven’t been eating the loaf of bread we bought fast enough and it’s started to mold:

But instead of throwing the loaf in the compost, I’m just eating around the blue parts. If you don’t hear from me again, it’s because my laziness and general lack of care for what I put in my body has poisoned and killed me.

June 14, 2012

Published on Thought Catalog!

How I think you should approach hunting for your dream job, based on the true life experiences of me falling flat on my face doing the opposite!

(P.S. If you’re experiencing animated .gif déjà vu, it’s because I’m stealing all of mine from this nugget of brilliance.)

June 13, 2012

“I’m just crying and watching soccer.”

I wish I was cute like this kid.

June 11, 2012

Published on The Billfold!

I wrote an open letter to my stock options. Here’s hoping they respond with a Hallmark card and a blank check!

June 8, 2012

What To #FollowFriday This Friday

#ff your heart
#ff your bliss
#ff your mom’s advice
#ff all job interviews with a “thank you” letter
#ff the goddamn directions
#ff that car!
#ff the recipe closely
make a #ff up appointment with the receptionist
#ff the right fork until you hit the dirt road
#ff the leader, the leader, the leader, #ff the leader, wherever she may go

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