iniquitous
ih-NIK-wi-tuhs, adjective;
1. Characterized by injustice or wickedness; wicked; sinful.
Jonah Hill
William Morris Endeavor Entertainment
9601 Wilshire Blvd.
3rd Floor
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
My dearest Jonah,
Last night when I was watching Superbad for the 202nd time, fantasizing about how if we were in high school together I would knit myself a sweater out of your hair to keep myself warm after a night of unadulterated passion together, I called my therapist and sobbed into her voicemail for ten minutes. She texted me this morning that I should probably be hospitalized, but I think this is an iniquitous conspiracy. She’s just a jealous old bat who will never love the way we love. I wish you’d come to one of my sessions with me so we could explain this to her together. I have them twice daily, so you shouldn’t have trouble finding one to fit your schedule.
See you soon?
Amy Snodgrass
Rebecca Pederson 